A POEM IN NEED

A POEM IN NEED

ONE I AM UNABLE TO FILL

Xiao Ling, is a poem that needs to be written.

Xiao Ling, is a poem that I would love to write.

Her inner / outer beauty - with, I have become smitten.

She, for a short while, made me feel life was alright.

I have never been to China.

Think I touched Her Heart so finna?

Reached deep within, to touch Her Soul.

She, I never really got to know.

I am unable to fathom the dreams,

the desires of an other, it seems.

For they / she travels on different beams.

I know , I never touched the edges of Her Heart,

nor the fringes of Her sweet Soul

Her youthful Spirit I did enjoy,

as She allowed much for this old boy

to fill my twilight days with.

The illusion, of touching Her Heart, lingers on

even though, reality is !, She is long gone

in search of Her own dreams and desires

as this old fool faces death, of his burning fires.

What once was, will never come back.

My heart strings, I will have to let be slack

as I crawl among and through every moment

of every experience we shared, that meant

I was alive, living life in fulfillment

of a greater sacrament.

B. J. "A" 2

November 4th 2010

A Philosophy

Life lived, is but taking hold of all the fleeting moments,

it's reality offers, and making them ours for as long as they last.

When they have run their coarse, given all they posses, dissipate,

fade into the books of history, we must give thanks, be grateful,

cherish every nuance, every beam, every ray, every wave length,

- all that gave them life and life meaning. -

Remember, give for as long as it takes and then move on

regardless of the rain that surely will fall

regardless of the pain that surely will pall

B.J."A" 2

October 22nd 2010

R I P

In Loving Memory

HERE LIES

Love & Friendship

BORN 11, 2009 - DIED 11, 10, 2010

From A Long Period Of Indifference .

Ending I do believe ????

REALITIES ?

I feel like an image in a Salvador Dali, painting.

Dripping off the edges of a surrealistic reality.

The Dream, - She has left me behind - a nightmare.

My spirit in an altered state of reality.

Reality melting all around, within me.

My life's clock ticking away, running out of time.

I find myself among those wretched Souls,

Screaming Souls, huddled together in mass misery

Clawing, reaching up in a desperate attempt to escape

The hell fires of Dante's Inferno.

Hands of my clock, limp, impotent, melting.

Time runs off their tips like tear drops,

Into the dark depths of eternal Dreams.

Dreams, that have her own realities.

Reality has no Dream, for me.

B. J. "A" 2

October 10th 2010

CRACKS IN REALITY

I AM NO LONGER ABLE TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF MY REFLECTIONS

IN THE CRACKED MIRRORS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.

AS THE FISSURES WIDEN, PIECES OF ME SLIP INTO.

I FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS, INTO DIMENSIONS

LYING IN WAIT ON THE OTHER SIDE.

IN THEM, THERE WILL BE NO PLACE TO HIDE.

AND SO, WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ?,

WHAT LIES IN THE SPACES BETWEEN THE OBVIOUS ?

THOSE THINGS NEVER SPOKEN OF

AS I TRY TO RISE ABOVE,

KNOWING, THERE IS NEVER TO BE LOVE

FOR THIS OLD MAN,

WHO PLAYED HIS HAND.

LOST, IN THE GAME,

LOVE HER NAME.

LOVE FOR HIM NEVER CAME.

B. J. 'A' 2

OCTOBER 5TH 2010

XIAO LING

CHINA LIGHT

Xiao Ling, did bring light into the shadows

of my days, days living in the shallows

of a love I could never get to know,

for the one I loved so, could never show

for more - once in a long while - then a moment, herself.

Fear - I do believe - created this emotional Elf,

who lives behind all the walls she has built,

hut on the waters of life, foundation on stilt,

high above the churning waters of life,

never wanting to experience the lands of strife

that sometimes, comes with being totally involved.

The issues - the soul, the spirit - never to be resolved,

knowing all the answers - that lie ahead -

only residing with all that is inside her head.

Xiao Ling, ( Natalie, my China Queen ) a natural Being,

with you, one was never capable of reaching, of seeing

beyond all the superficiality

that came at me from your perception of reality.

With you - never really - my Princess, I built many dreams.

During the past two years, plus, it all fell apart at the seams.

LOVE FROZEN IN TIME

Oh how I loved you so.

I could not find a way to let you go.

Time and circumstance,

lack of oxygen, the death for the flame of romance.

A burning Ember, without much of a chance

for me to get beyond our one and only dance.

The fires of my long held desires,

the flames of my suppressed passions -

after two years of untold expenditure of energy -

frozen in a time passed, the heart, the desire, the passion.

All have become encrusted by icy crystals

Lady Freeze, you have chosen to encapsulate my all, in.

I look out, from within, and wonder ?, what was my sin,

why ?, did she expect me to become like her,

cold as ice, hard as stone, living life on the superficial,

take and want, but never give, in deep and meaningful ways.

I look into my feelings and wonder if I can give to Xiao Ling ?,

anything more than the Princess, was willing to give to me.

Has all the pain, all the disappointments the Princess created

- from that palace - (an ice hut upon the north pole ?,

upon the the south pole ?, upon the solar winds of deep space ?, )

- become the essence of this old man ?

Will my heart, my passions, my love, my desires

ever be able to melt the icy shroud they inhabit ?,

can they find in - Xiao Ling, - the heat from a Son,

that will ignite the embers into a full raging fire ?

The question is - does Xiao Ling, even want to be

the fuel that burns away, sets me free ?

B. J. "A" 2

January 21st 2010

1 COMMENT

Brendan said...

I like reading your Poems. They are so raw,

the angst of love can break a man. sometimes

love is so strong it hurts more than any bodily pain.
FEBURARY 24th 2010 - 2:23 am

THE POLISH PRINCESS

A FIRST !

A FIRST !

BIRTHDAY

I saw the Ghost, of thirty seven years

let go of, set free, smiles, laughter, no tears.

I watched, as you glowed in the light of life,

letting go of, what caused you so much strife.

You gave into life, on this your thirty eighth Birthday.

For the first time in your life, you put the Ghost, away,

set Her, free so that you could be, let your spirit play

with your friends, family and me on this, your Birthday.

I can not help but think, your mother, is happy to know

that after all these years, the sadness, guilt you've let go

and realize that Her, sacrifice gave birth and life to you.

This is the ultimate sacrifice a Mother, can do

for the child She, LOVED with all Her, life.

Your heart, spirit, soul felt the cut from that knife

for thirty seven long and sad years.

Now - the thirty eighth - time to shed no more tears.

This She, did for you Xiao Ling, so you could live,

make Her, proud, watch you grow, see you give,

know that, in you, Her Spirit, Her Soul, lives on.

One day - thirty eighth Birthday - know She's not gone,

lingering on in your memory's hoard, inside your heart.

Your thirty eighth Birthday has given you a new start,

one, that throughout the years to come,

you - joy, happiness from

will light up the skies,

will fill your Mother's, eyes.

Nothing in this universe, ever dies!

In this, A truth lies.

B. J."A" 2

September 29th 2010