How one Lives with History ?

What haunts the Soul ?,

Kills the Spirit !

There is little benefit, no point in living in the past,

unfortunately the past lives / thrives within me and you.

About this, there is very little we can do

to change what it has made of us - that is not to say

we can not, nor do not repress, suppress some of - each day,

yet no matter how hard we try, we can never run away

from the self, that is, our self

that some times has made of us a pigmy elf,

that little person who sometimes is so little

it brings pain to the inside / outside world .

B. J. "A" 2

May 29th 2010

Rain Drops Fall !

I am so sorry I made you cry !

Sorry for bringing tears to your eye,

expressing how I felt disappointed,

how it was making me feel.

My thoughts of you became disjointed !

I believe an arrangement, whats planed

is one's bond, a binding deal.

A person's word should stand,

be the life's blood that makes them real.

What can I say ?, my Dear, it's how I feel .

B. J. "A" 2

May 29th 2010

One Week ?

Could be all there is?
Maybe a day, an hour, just a moment,
then what was, no longer is,
what could have been, never can be.
All becomes lost to the fears,
the uncertainties,
one harbours inside their head,
the mind of prejudices.

You know my China Doll ?, at this stage of life one only wants to fill their remaining days, on this plane, with all the pleasures - be they cerebral, emotional, physical, intellectual or all -that living this life has to offer, to experience them to the fullest the mind, the body is capable of - be they a kind heart, a giving soul, a free spirit, a warm, beautiful smile, a pretty face, a shared moment, a passionate kiss, the beauty of making love to a woman and what it brings to a decaying body and the twilight of ones mind - a beautiful ending to ones days, a glorious sun set to accompany one on their long, never ending journey as they change coarse within life's flow, put on a new coat of many colours - the rainbow of life or a suit of armour - the dark shadows that keep one from seeing the light, letting it take hold of them, permeate every fiber, every atom, every molecule of their being .
I see you as an inspiration and yet I feel that you tend to curtail it's progress as you keep much, I do believe, locked inside and yet let be touched, parts of all that make up the beauty I see, I have felt and do feel and do believe is the true beauty in you. You have taken this old man to heights that a man of age should not attempt to climb, but for you it seems, there is no mountain to high or ocean to deep to stop me from reaching up or reaching down to take hold of you and ride every wave life, with wild abandon, throws upon the shores beneath our feet .
I know that you try - with some restraint - to step out side of that which has been and is the force that keeps you closed, afraid to step beyond that which you feel comfortable with, in order to experience some things you seem to have an aversion to .
They say - whom ever they are - that life is to short and let me confirm that, it is !!!!!, and I realize Xiao Ling, that a lot of what I sing, write, say is far from what you want to hear or see from me, nor is it what you want to accept from me .

LOVE
BILL .

Know Xiao Ling,
no matter what
to the table you bring,
with open heart I will sing
a sad and happy song.

With me, I hope you come along,
not be so strong
in your restraint,
with your resolve
to never .

B. J. "A" 2

May 13th 2010

The Pangs for Moments Lost !

This beautiful afternoon , hope was to savour

every drop of your sweet, beautiful flavour.

Not to be, the hours became full of emptiness.

Disappointment, a sadness I must confess

is all that greeted the coming of evening,

no joy in the tunes song birds did sing.

The only remedy for the loss of a dance

was to walk along the river Pitt, by chance ?,

Mother Nature's silent beauty gave peace to the soul,

the mountains majestic, covered in snow these eyes came to know,

seeing, that for eons they stood and stand in quiet desperation

knowing the weight of a trillion, billion tons of snows saturation,

oceans and seas of rain changed their faces, osmosis and erosion

troubled / trouble them not as they stand tall in the face of all adversity

knowing in their silent hearts, life is harsh and moves with little felicity.

And I have to wonder ? what about you and me

and what is it?, in our lives, that we truly are able to see,

when Fate, Karma, the grand design, The Creator are in control.

What is it of our lives?, that we will ever truly know

before the light changes from shadow to a bright glow

and in it, to us, everything they will come to show.

B.J."A" 2

May 8th 2010