Friday, March 25, 2011

XIAO LING

I wish I knew you well ?, I wish I knew what is in your heart ?
I stepped out of my bleak, four cornered room on Sunday.
I stepped out from my sterile four walled prison to day,
walked with the sun on my face, warming the hours,
as I walked with the Ghost of you in my arm,
you, leaning into me like you used to do.
Visions of your beauty, your lovely face
graced the blue skies before me,
taking me to heavenly places
I once knew,
with you.

I saw the essence in you, dancing upon the face of
Mother Nature, Mother Earth with such joy
as your Ghost and I walked hand in hand
along the dikes (both sides) of the River
Pitt with thoughts of you and I and all
we once shared, carrying me through
the pain, the tears I shed like falling
rain drenching the earth beneath my feet.
Soggy, thoughts that we might meet once again
this time, you could feel for me, as I feel for you.

I watched the sun gaze passed the cloud cover,
wash away the ugliness, expose the whiteness,
turn the grey snow, caped mountain tops
into a clean blanket, gleaming white
and I began to wonder ?, if I will
know, no more grey skies.
Will white snow fill my eyes ?,
as I walk with the Beautiful Ghost of you,
in my arm, leaning against me like you used to do .

B. J. "A" 2
March 24th 2011

You know Xiao Ling, there is so much I would have loved to have done with and for you. I guess?, now that you have others to do for you, I will never again, know the pleasures of giving to you all that I was capable of, all that you would allow me. It saddens me Xiao Ling, to think that I will never again get to do even the little things for you .
Gone are the the oppertunities !,?, like the sun, behind the storm clouds ( your anger, your disappointments ) that have been hovering above my head like bombers waiting to drop their load on me, to watch them explode on me .
I am so very SORRY Xiao LIng, for every mistake, for every discouraging, disparaging remark / word that came from out of my mouth, for every act ( kissing, hugging, caressing, touching, etc., etc. )that upset you so .
I hope that one day you can find it in your heat to forgive me .
You have a great life !

LOVE
BILL .

Thursday, March 24, 2011

WOE

WOE

The colour of my today's, is Sorrow.
Heart ache will not leave me, not even tomorrow!
I have really done it this time!
There are no words in this rhyme
strong enough to dissipate
what I have said to alienate.
I gave you cause to close the door,
gave you reason to see me no more.

The colour of my today's is Sorrow.
Heart ache will not leave me, not even tomorrow!
A piece of history ?, you put me on a shelf ?
You saw the Pygmy, you know the Elf.
To be forgotten?, to collect dust ?,
one day so thick, I'll not be seen.
To extricate myself, I must
get back to what I have been.

Will your thoughts ?, your beautiful eyes see
the person ?, the man ?, the friend ?, I used to be
to you, before my careless, thoughtless word.
Something, from me, you should not have heard.
I am so very, very SORRY Xiao Ling.
I believe that my words, my rhyme will not bring
to your shattered, troubled heart,
peace, release or for me a new start.

To not be an image ?, a reflection ?, to not be stored ?
One day, to not be a flake in your memories hoard ?
No portrait of me will come into view
of this foolish man you once knew.
An old man named Bill, who loved you so,
who was unable to fill all you needed to know,
who could not fill all the empty spaces,
could not be one of the many faces
who gave some of, all that you where searching for.
I now believe that you have closed the door.
Closed it on me forever more.

B. J. "A" 2
March 22nd 2011