The morning after

Is there any reality to ?, or is it just another Dream ?

Four AM, and again, I am awoken by a dream,

That dream tells a story, is that story a truth ?,

- a truth that came to light Valentines night –

as I came to visit you – your girlfriend is there –

our exchange of words are brief – you want to leave –

you walk out your door – your friend and I remain

behind – your decision – your friend begins to tell me

you are involved, in fact have been for a long time,

- I am nothing more than a filler for your empty hours –

then I awake with a pain in my heart and a knowledge of.

What ?, a premonition !

 

Monika :

 

Four AM, pen in hand, words begin to flow.

They speak of a beautiful Lady, I would love to know !

My heart ache, bleeds, - it is my desire for her – it doth show,

in a million tear drops that run wild through my veins

until the knowledge of, is absorbed and all that remains

are the memories, the moments ( good or sad ) of the pains

I have had to endure – your words “ be patent ”, “ be this ”,

 “ do that ” – the implications ? – the dream is realized.

In all honesty Monika, - I thank – never from you will I

come to know your compassion, your passion, a closeness,

nor affection, love and desire – the things I desire to give,

to receive – or anything I wish to experience, to know.

I feel that I mean nothing more to you than the gift

- of Christmas Love ( those black and red lover entwined ).

A block of wood carved into – intimate – lovers twisted

around each other’s souls in a passionate kiss,

a sculpture that you saw as a musical symbol (Treble clef )

An item left on a shelf. looked at but never toughed.

As always – I am conflicted – living with uncertainties,

living in doubt of where I stand and what I mean to you.

 

Wm. J. Atfield Jr.

Love Bill .

 

B. J. “A ” 2

February 15^th 2007